one day at a time…

I’m due for an update. As of this writing I’m four and a half weeks post treatment. Let me start with the good stuff. First, we had a great 25th anniversary week for our church followed by a wonderful family vacation followed. Then God allowed me and Dana to take Haylee on our Alaska cruise this past week. It was not exactly “restful” but it was an awesome time of fellowship and memory making. We were grateful to be a part.

Now for the challenges—physically, I’m dealing with a lot of issues still. When I saw my doctor last week he told me the things I’m experiencing could persist up to a year. In general it’s all about lungs and energy. I feel like my lungs are in a straight jacket—or like an NFL player is sitting on my chest. That combined with some pretty heavy congestion kept me down for the first week of vacation. The second week was better. This past week I really tried to manage the congestion part of it through meds and diet, and that seemed to make a big difference. But breathing is a job, and I can’t take a deep breath without coughing. It’s just the sign that my lungs were truly hammered, just like the doctors warned me they would be.

On the energy side of things, that goes away still sometime during mid-day, and then the breathing and lung issue gets worse. I’m really weak. And if I exert myself, like leading singing or walking up stairs, I feel it for about 30 minutes.

Emotionally and spiritually, it’s a “one day at a time” proposition. One friend told me the other day, “You seem really tired on the inside…” I said, “That’s a very good way to put it.” I’m having a hard time making any plans long-term because it seems like just getting through tomorrow and next week are about all my brain get get wrapped around at the moment. Another friend, who dealt with Hodgkins, told me that the emotional and spiritual side of the healing takes some time, and her advice was, “One day at a time…” That hit home for me, because that’s right where I am.

None of this is to complain—just to inform those who are wondering “how it’s going” now that treatment is over. The road to recovery is still long, but at least I’m on it! :) God is good, and He’s seeing us through one day at a time… and His grace is always sufficient.

I have deliberately put off trying to process the cancer battle emotionally or spiritually—at least in the context of the long term. As summer comes to a close, I look forward to finding some solitude some how and doing just that—asking God to show me the path forward in His will, in light of this trial and all that He has taught me. But for now, and until I have some more emotional energy—it’s one day at a time… and I’m just fine with that.

Please pray that the cancer will not return. Thank you.

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3 Responses to one day at a time…

  1. Linda Androvich says:

    Praying for you every day…

  2. Gwen Robinson says:

    You are an encouragement and a wonderful example! In these posts your attitude has been upbeat, optimistic and even amusing though cancer treatment is a painful grueling process. You must be a very strong person to be able to exhibit that level of self control. I am confident that you will be able to process and deal with all the emotions you must be experiencing. I will pray for you! First Peter 5:7

  3. Carl Schmidt says:

    Hi Cary…..Of course, we are praying for your health and strength day-by-day. As you spoke about your trial of breathing, we will re-double our efforts to remember you. I can certainly “feel for you,” Nephew! As we were reading your book today (we’re past the halfway point and enjoying it very much), I was telling Grandmom and Granddad of a minor “off-script” time in Indiana in 2005. I was helping one of the farmers bring in the hay, and the very last day (and very last hour) of our labor, his son stopped short with the tractor-bailer and threw me and another guy off. I landed (very unceremoniously!) with a belly-flop and must have “rearranged” my pelvis. I was laid up for just about one month, only able to get around with a four-foot walker. The Lord was merciful to me then, and I can truthfully say that it was an overall positive experience; He provided everything I needed and drew me closer to Himself. Cary, I’m sure many folks will be able to identify with your experience in one way or another. They will also gain some excellent insights by reading your forthright and humorous observations. God bless you and the Family. Love….Grandma, Granddad and Uncle Carl

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