systems failure—reboot in progress

It would be hard to describe the past two days other than a multiple systems failure. By Friday, I really thought I was pulling out and all systems seemed to be rebooting well. Other than being very weak, it was a good day. By Saturday I could tell that things were not normal, and then Sunday morning came. I made it through the first church service, but barely, and that was it. I came home and crashed—in bed all day and night. I hated missing Sunday, but I’m sure I would have been teaching heresy in my class any way!
Here’s a short list of what was going on and why: physical instability and shaking, muscle-twitching and pain, tightness of chest and shortness of breath, strong headaches, disorientation and confusion (yikes!), body aches, extreme physical weakness, indigestion, and just a general inability to function in any way that positively contributes to humanity.

The scariest point was in trying to lead music in the first service. I thought I was ok, but it hit suddenly. I couldn’t remember what song we were singing, what verse we were on, or what I was supposed to say. It was at that point that I realized “Houston, we have a problem.” Thankfully I managed to get to the back hall without completely derailing the service.
After doing some reading and speaking with a pharmacist, I really believe what I dealt with this weekend is a collection of side effects from a new nausea medication taken this round called Emend. It prevents nausea, but not at the stomach—at the brain. It rewires your brain to respond differently to nausea. Well, after this week, I don’t think I was made for it. This stuff messed with my head in a major way. There were a couple of times Saturday and Sunday when I as completely disoriented—that’s a strange experience for sure!
In general I’m not completely right in the head, so you can imagine what mental state a drug-induced side effect could put me in. At this point I think it’s better to be sick to my stomach but semi-clear in the head. So at the moment, I’m slowly easing into this day, trying to reboot and take inventory. It’s moment by moment, and changes on a dime… but I’m hoping for the best.
If the pharmacists calculations are right, this last of this drug should be headed out of my system today. Thanks for your encouragement and and prayers! I may not be right mentally, but I’ve got a good attitude about it. 🙂
And a quick shout out to the makers of Emend— “Thanks so much for the trip…”