possible reasons why i contracted hodgkins

I was doing some reading last night on the causes of Hodgkins and considering where this might have begun. After lots of study, I’m suspicious of the following possibilities (This is just for fun):
I’m a Dallas Cowboys fan—this is the fault of a family in our church who lured my boys astray years ago. I was just trying to be a supportive father, but I fear it was a bad decision.

My parents poisoned me when I was a kid—My brothers and I have had long standing suspicions that our parents conspired against us as children in a multitude of ways, yet every time we foiled their plan and survived. This could have been some “time-release” plot on their part.
The global elite identified me as a threat—It occurred to me that those forming the new world order may have decided they don’t want me around, so they tainted my flu shot. Or perhaps I’m involved in a population control plan.
I’m a test case for a bio-terrorism group—Another possible conspiracy explanation.
I’m a youth pastor and teenagers are toxic—I knew youth ministry was risky, but had no idea there was such health sacrifices. Perhaps in families or smaller quantities they are harmless, but in large doses they become lethal?
My absorbed twin is trying to get me back—Perhaps somewhere in my genetics my long lost, previously unknown, absorbed twin is still fighting for survival and found a way to fight back…
Too much pizza over the last 21 years—Every one knows the fast food pizza places don’t use real ingredients right? Just chemicals and stuff? So maybe youth ministry strikes again…
Only extremely good-looking and intelligent people get it—I read this on a lymphoma support blog… and it does make a lot of sense 🙂 Dana says, “Naaa… that’s not it.”
My body disagrees with my lifestyle and wants out of the deal—Obviously my lymph nodes decided to mutiny…
I’m getting what was promised for not forwarding a couple of those chain emails—you know the ones that say something bad will happen unless you forward to everyone you know?
Chemo makers saw a dip in sales and drew my name—Maybe there’s a central sickness lottery controlled by the medical elite and a secret “illness distribution system” for the winners…
I live in desert that was used for nuclear testing—this would explain other oddities about me, and especially my children!

This entry was posted in Funny Stuff. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to possible reasons why i contracted hodgkins

  1. Tracy Dizon says:

    Haha maybe we teenagers are toxic! And I agree with Mrs. Schmidt about the “good-looking” part – just kidding! 😀 we love you Bro. Schmidt!!!
    -Tracy Dizon

  2. Julee Martinez says:

    Dear Bro. Schmidt,
    I’ve been following your blog for about a month now, and I truly appreciate your up- lifting spirit. In November, my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child, and as I’d read your blog, I feared your reaction to the chemo was very similar to my morning sickness. I would always get a chuckle. This past Wednesday, when we went to our appointment, they found no heartbeat on our baby. When I got home from the appointment, I felt drawn to read your blog. I was truly blessed beyond measure, being reminded that God is in control, and I can trust Him with any circumstance. Thank you for your faithful testimony of God’s goodness and grace.
    Julee Martinez

  3. Melody Kehres says:

    I’m going to start forwarding all chain emails now

  4. Joy Loveday says:

    Justin and Grace Hayes (our future co-laborers here in Madrid, Spain) posted one of your articles (they are graduates of Westcoast and missionaries too).
    I read it and was blessed. Today they posted another one and I decided to read on through some of your things, when I came across the chemo treatments. That really sparked my curiosity as I am a 26 year cancer survivor, praise the Lord.
    Kept reading, and laughed through the “ways to get out of chemo”…I used to pray that my blood count would be so awfully low that they’d only give me a half-dose or no dose at all…pretty desperate and one time God actually answered!
    Anyway, I kept reading and got to the diagnosis of “Hodgkins Disease” which is the kind of cancer I had / Type 2 – malignant, stage 3.
    My husband Jack and I are Baptist Missionaries in Madrid, Spain which is where I had my treatment 26 years ago. I recently got in touch with my original dr. and he apologized right up front for giving me 4 times the dose of the chemo they use nowadays and get the same results! I forgave him…and then went on to tell him that I have many, many side-effects, but God decided I was to stay, and not only have I recovered to where I can minister again, but we are still in Spain!
    Although we did suffer the loss of our 3rd child (I was expecting and we didn’t know it when they began the treatments) I can truly say looking back, that it turned my relationship with the Lord upside-down (for good!)
    Thank you for sharing what God is doing and may He give you and your wife and family His grace as He works in and through you at this time.
    In Him,
    Joy Loveday
    Madrid, Spain

  5. Tina Ling says:

    Truly, thanks for the laughs. It feels good to laugh, even if it’s to myself. I often make jokes about my own diagnosis but I guess I’m not that great with delivering jokes. People haven’t found my cancer jokes to be funny. I will have to keep practicing. 🙂

  6. Olivia Coefield says:

    Bro.Schmidt ,
    You have been a huge blessing in my life and even though I am in the JH youth group it is always fun to see you having a good time with the older kids! I cannot wait to be in the SH youth group next year! You are the best and I know that God has something special for you and your family through this trial in your guys’ lives!
    Love you all! 🙂

  7. Eric Anundson says:

    I knew there was a reason I stopped working with youth! This was so very funny. Thanks for this

  8. Randy Graham says:

    I sure appreciate your love for the Lord and your family, your balance and faithfulness in ministry and your humor in the battle. During the Commencement exercises today (watching via internet) I stood up from my laptop and joined in on the standing ovation for you… fight on and God Bless!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *