chemo… therapy?? really?


Note: Just for laughs—no offense intended! You have been warned…
What do you think of when you hear the word “therapy?” Something “therapeutic”, right? Something with a good effect—like massage therapy, aroma therapy, cinnamon roll therapy (I made that one up), or even get-away-to-a-carribean-island therapy (that one too!) These things are therapeutic—things that relieve disorders, provide rest to the body and soul. You know—therapy. Good word.
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no place to hide


Why in the world would I want to journal this crazy experience on a blog where people can publicly see this ordeal? Frankly, I wonder sometimes. I must be half stupid. In part, it’s because I can hardly believe this is happening, and the blog helps me remember that it’s all very real. Strange. But beside that, here’s the deeper “why”:
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food binges, solomon, and cool stuff


Had some really nice surprises today! First, at lunch time I had a bizarre craving for McDonald’s. A few minutes later, I was downing a quarter pounder with cheese and an order of fries. The taste of food has returned, soda is fizzy again, and a high-calorie lunch was a moment in Heaven. (I know you McDonald’s haters are dying right now! Hang on, it gets better.) You’re probably thinking, “He’s a sick puppy!” And, you’re right. I am.
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thankful for a good day!


I woke up today and did exactly what the guy in this photo is doing! I shouted to Dana, “I feel alive!!!” Strange how feeling almost normal was such an overwhelming experience. I’ve obviously taken it for granted for the last 41 years! Continue reading

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how this all started


People have asked, “Where did this begin? What’s the story that led up to the diagnosis?” So here is the string of events.
First, I can point to about 18 or 20 months ago when I felt something changing in my chest. I assumed it was a worsening of allergies and pre-existing cough issues that I inherited, along with maybe reaching my 40s. But I was always a day or two away from bronchitis—always. That was new, and it was concerning. I managed it with medication and rest, but mentioned to several doctors that something had changed.
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third day after treatment

I had a few good hours yesterday—enough to teach a class and teen Bible study, but nausea is back with a vengeance today. Woke up feeling sick, and have been pretty weak with not much of an appetite most of the day. On the richter scale it registers somewhere between “no fun” and “not unbearable.” I’m trying to eat just bland stuff—fruit, soup, etc. This seems to be working ok digestively, but I don’t have much energy.
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two days after first treatment

This is the first time I’ve really felt like typing anything since that last update. I’ve been getting lots of notes and emails from folks praying, and I’m very thankful.
This is weird, but I have a movie script playing out in my brain. Scene one—cancer cells (I give them personalities in my mind) hanging out in lymph nodes, multiplying and dividing, and just generally being cancerous (I picture them smoking, drinking, and playing cards). Scene two—suddenly, (cue epic music, and put a Brian Regan style surprised look on their faces as all mayhem breaks loose!) Chemo is coming! Then they start screaming, and running for their lives—”Head for the kidneys! Every man for himself! AHHHH!” (Music builds as cells are overtaken…) Scene three—lymph node bars are shut down and turned into local churches as normalcy and revival return to the immune system. (Cue happy ending music…)
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five hours after first treatment

Note to Readers: One of the purposes of this blog is to help someone else that might deal with Hodgkins in the future. For that reason, some of what I will post is just to document the  experience in real time and in real terms. These are not complaints in any sense, just descriptions for the sake of helping someone else prepare. If you are sensitive to such things or if you misunderstand my heart, please don’t read these particular posts. (Generally they will be the ones without pics.)
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day one in a big green chair


I’ve never been comfortable sitting in a chair if my feet can’t touch the ground. So here I am, feeling like an 8 year old sent to the principal’s office. This chair is huge and sort of “hospital-ish”—not the chair I would watch a football game from for sure. I’m five hours into my first day of treatment, and so far so good. I’m told each treatment builds on the last until they finally have you begging for mercy—so I’m really excited about the coming months. 😉
I went into the office early and reviewed all of my staff updates. It was nice to get a couple of hours of work in. We arrived at Kaiser at 9:30 where Bro. Eldon Lofgren (one of our deacons) was waiting (since 8 a.m.) to hug me and pray with me. What a blessing it was to see him standing there as I walked up the sidewalk to the lab! We hugged and prayed together. He’s a great man.
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jonathan edwards' view on life


Pastor Chappell read this powerful quote in yesterday’s morning message, and when I heard it I determined to post it during my first treatment. It’s a convicting, powerful view of the life of discipleship. I pray it will encourage you!
Jonathan Edwards, the great preacher and theologian whom God used to bring revival to colonial America, wrote:
“I claim no right to myself, no right to this understanding, this will, these affections that are in me. Neither do I have any right to this body or its members, no right to this tongue, to these hands, feet, ears or eyes. I have given myself clear away and not retained anything of my own. Continue reading

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