one last entry from the big green chair

Well, here I sit in the big green chair, one more time—mask on, fighting back the gagging reflex, but thankful for God’s grace. Barring a future recurrence, this is my last time to sit here for chemo-therapy. God has been good to see us through to this point.
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we press on

Tonight in church, two of our teens sang a song that deeply touched my heart. I’ve been familiar with this particular song for probably more than a decade, but tonight it meant something special, so I thought I would post the lyrics. It’s called “We Press On”:
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begging for chemo…

Well, I woke up today, all mentally zoned for the last treatment. We arrived at Kaiser at about 1pm where the nurse told us we needed to meet with the doctor. Uh-oh.  A few moments later, we are sitting in his office talking about low blood counts. As it turns out, my white counts were too low for treatment and I have to wait for three more days.
At this point, I almost got on my knees! I put on the most pathetic expression I could, I asked “what will happen if I have treatment anyway?” I literally begged him to reconsider. To no avail. I was so ready to do this last treatment. But the doctor said it was too risky. We have to wait until Thursday, which is really crummy timing.
It was the only time in seven months that I have begged for chemotherapy. I actually can’t imagine ever doing that again. I’m sure God has a plan in it, and I don’t want to end up in the hospital because we wiped out my blood counts.  So, I’m coming down off my hours of emotional prep and planning to enjoy the next few days of sanity.
So, treatment #12 is still lingering out there, sticking it’s tongue out at me and threatening to make me nauseous. And so we wait…

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life in concert…

The past twelve days probably represented my most difficult post-treatment days yet. I’ve had two good days, thankfully. One of them is today, and the other one was Thursday. Ironically, I had planned to take Dana away for the day. We had a wonderful time—starting with four hours at Disneyland (at which time I ran out of steam.) After dinner, we attended a symphony.
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update on treatment #11

Just wanted to give a quick update on this past week’s treatment. The worst hit on Saturday and Sunday, along with some new side effects I haven’t experienced up to this point. Sunday afternoon and evening the chemo cave was as dark as it always is, and all day my mouth hurt. Actually, it was pretty much my whole head, but especially my tongue. Felt like I was chewing on a cactus. Strange. And no medication would touch it.
Today, Monday, the mouth pain has decreased, but I’ve been on the edge of nausea all day—more than usual. I was able to go into work for four hours, conduct some meetings, and work on some projects. Tonight I’m hoping for enough energy for Dana and I to take Lance and his date out for dinner before she goes home for the summer.
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leaping the wall of treatment #11

Treatment #11 happened yesterday. It was moved from Monday to Wednesday due to our Senior High Spring Banquet at Disneyland.
For all of my fellow-hodgkins friends who are reading this, don’t worry—it was awesome! It was like a five course dinner at a fine dining establishment, including an amazing desert. I wished I could have stayed longer and had seconds. 🙂
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hitting a wall

Have you ever hit a wall in some aspect of your life? This is something that I haven’t written much about, but walls have become somewhat of a regular occurrence in this cancer experience.
First, there’s the physical energy wall. For instance, I can tell I’m getting a chest infection, so last night we asked the doctor for a prescription. I started the antibiotic, woke up feeling decent, and went in to work. Then at 2pm—WHAM! My body said, “I’m done…” I can’t explain it. It just happens—a wall, out of nowhere. No energy left, and no will power is enough to overcome it. My only option is to go collapse somewhere.
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the sufficient grace of God…

God has been so good to us! Treatment #10 did it’s usual damage, but God gave strength at all the right times. Thursday night we colored Easter eggs with the kids, Friday we spent some time with some new staff members that are joining our team soon. Then came an AMAZING Easter weekend. God allowed me the strength to participate in the Easter musical rehearsal on Saturday all day, and the the musical in the evening. We saw God work in a great way over the weekend. Many trusted Christ in the musicals and services, and I cherished every moment of celebrating the resurrection and worshipping the RISEN SAVIOUR! It was AWESOME!
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treatment 10… sick…

Just got home from treatment #10. I got sick again during treatment. Bummer. I’m in bed prepared to medicate up and knock myself out for the night. I’m wishing I could get ahold of that vasnic stuff that George took on the second edition of Father of the Bride.  You know, “See you next Thursday, George!”
The good news, there are only two treatments left. They have increasingly become more miserable, but the end of the tunnel is in sight. Thanks to all who are praying for us.

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resting, writing, restoring… and chemo-reform

After an extremely taxing week last week, this week has been good. Up through yesterday I was really weak and fighting off chest infection and sickness. Though I worked a little each day, I tried to mostly rest and get healthy for Monday’s treatment. I’m glad it was a light week. Today I finally started feeling like I’m getting the upper hand in strength and a clear chest. Just in time for treatment #10.
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